How to Wrestle an Alligator and Kill a Gorilla with a Bare Fist
Duke Georg II, The Strong, ruler of Anhalt, Germany reputedly killed a bear with his bare hand in 1509!
Disclaimer: For entertainment purpose only. Always exercise caution when tackling or confronting wild animals. Do not threaten, approach or harass any species and always follow your local laws and guidelines as well as common sense and judgment.
Introduction
When it comes to the intelligence of a human, there are few animals that can match up. However, humans are generally not on par with gorillas and alligators in terms of strength. Thus they can be very dangerous if you don't know how to wrestle them properly when confronted. In this article I will teach you how to wrestle an alligator and kill a gorilla with your bare hands!
The Struggle of Man Against the Beast
You have to be prepared to fight for your life. In this world, you're going to have to fight an alligator and a gorilla with your bare fists. I know that sounds crazy but you've got no choice in the matter if you want to survive.
If there's one thing I've learned from my experiences as an armchair fighter (and there are many), it's that sometimes we need our opponents more than we admit—especially when what matters most is winning at any cost...even if it means taking things too far sometimes...or even worse yet: losing everything along the way!
How Does Strength Measure up?
How does strength measure up? Here are some possible permutations to ponder.
Man vs. Gorilla
Man vs. Shark
Man vs. Alligator
Elephant vs. Human Strength
Arthur Jones, the inventor of the super-popular gym equipment Nautilus, himself drew inspiration from taming the beasts and as the Wall Street Journal article indicates, at one point of his life he “pursued careers as a rattlesnake wrangler, crocodile trapper, tropical-fish importer, and bush airline entrepreneur in Africa and South America, selling animals to zoos and pet shops”. As a matter of fact, he famously kept a 12-foot, one-eyed alligator in a swimming pool.
Sarah Chodosh delves into the various strengths from the menagerie and points out in the Popular Science article titled The world’s most powerful animals, ranked: Strength, in numbers how humans have the edge when it comes to ‘deadlift’:
In 2016, English strongman Eddie Hall set the current world record for a dead lift by hoisting 1,102.3 pounds, more than the weight of a concert grand piano. Asian elephants, by comparison, can shift 770 pounds with their trunks alone. Not bad, humans.
What is the Key to Man's Strength?
The key to human strength lies in the brain, instinct and adaptability. The human ability to think has led us to evolve from a simple ape into what we are today. In addition, our ability to use tools and weapons gave man an advantage over other animals.
A gorilla's strength is derived from its muscles while an alligator's comes from its jaws. An alligator can bite through steel and a gorilla can lift heavy objects with ease but neither have any chance against humans because we have an advantage: we can outsmart them!
What Happens in a Fight?
If you're going to go toe-to-toe with an animal, it's important to understand that there are two different species involved. The man is the superior being in all senses of the word: he has evolved mentally and physically to take over this planet; animals have not. A gorilla or alligator will be able to overpower a normal human being with its brute strength alone—but that doesn't mean it can defeat them entirely.
Humans are capable of using their brains as weapons against beasts; we've even made it our mission on this earth to do so! People who train their bodies and minds are able to fight back against these animals without fear of losing their lives at any moment due solely on their own physical limitations (which aren't really limitations). This means that anyone can potentially take down any beast if they know how—and now you do too!
What to do when confronted with an alligator or a gorilla?
So what to do when confronted with an alligator… in worst case scenario? Per slogan the ‘expert advice for extreme situations’ of that well-known website which we all remember from the book browsing at Barnes & Noble for free before theater-hopping in the early 2000s…
You have to hug it. I kid you not!
It is important to note that if an alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking or rolling over. Alligators are well adapted to taking down large, strong animals. If the alligator still has not given up, use any weapon you have, or your fists. There are potentially thousands of attacks and hundreds of fatalities from Nile crocodiles in Africa and saltwater crocodiles. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths. Feeding alligators seems to cause them to lose their fear of humans and become more aggressive.
As far as confronted with a gorilla with a Tom Sawyeresque straw-hat on your face or on a hammock under say juniper or monkey-puzzle tree at Congo? That too on the same day?!
The chances of you coming face to face with a gorilla are small, even if you live in their natural habitat. But if you ever go on a jungle expedition, or you're worried you might fall into the gorilla pit at your local zoo, it doesn't hurt to know what to do if you've made a gorilla mad. How do you know you've upset a gorilla? If a gorilla thinks it is in danger, it will make threats first—like loud grunts and hoots. Those simple behaviors tell a gorilla that you're not a threat, and that you have no interest in challenging it.
No matter what never, ever, ever: run from the gorilla, mimic it, thump your chest or show your teeth.
According to Ty Karnitz’s advice inThe Art of Manliness article on How to Wrestle an Alligator, you should always keep the following in mind:
Never attempt to jump an alligator from the side or from the front. If possible, have someone distract the animal so it doesn't turn to keep an eye on you. Take off your shirt and use it as a blindfold (or use a towel) to cover the gator's eyes.
Step One: Begin by covering both eyes with your dominant hand and pinning the head to the ground.
Step Two: Hold the mouth shut with one hand while using the other hand to hook the lower jaw. Step Three: Lift the alligator's head off the ground and toward your chest.
You may not get so lucky against a gorilla. No Israel Adesanya flying kicks or any of your favorite Connor McGregor eye-gouging odes. But do not be disheartened. Persist!
Remember it all comes down to willpower and survival instinct. Unleash YOUR inner beast! As the Taoists would say, part of it is about taming the beast within.
The strength of a man's body and mind are incomparable to any beast.
You see, the strength of a man's body and mind are incomparable to any beast. His spirit and heart are also superior. A gorilla may be strong, but it is not as strong as a human being. An alligator may be powerful and fast, but it cannot compare to the human body in terms of physical prowess. A lion may be ferocious and brave, but its bravery pales in comparison to that of humans who face death with courage every day.
A gorilla is no match for a knowledgeable fighter armed with nothing but his bare fists or feet; an alligator can easily be defeated by someone who knows how to wrestle it; even lions have been known to turn tail at the sight of some man—or woman—who fights back with determination and skill equal if not greater than their own! Okay, I exaggerate a bit!
Conclusion
The fight between man and beast is an ongoing struggle. One that will never end and in which neither side can truly prevail. But what we can say is that there are a lot of lessons to be learned from this epic battle between man and beast. We can learn about our own strength, how much it takes to survive in this world and how far one must go in order to protect their family or friends from danger.
